시앗 싸움엔 돌부처도 돌아앉는다 Siat Ssaumen Dolbucheodo Doraanjneunda - Even a Stone Buddha Turns Away from the Quarrel Between Co-Wives
Even a Stone Buddha Turns Away from the Quarrel Between Co-Wives
Korean Proverb
시앗 싸움엔 돌부처도 돌아앉는다
🔤 Romanization
Siat Ssaumen Dolbucheodo Doraanjneunda
📖 Literal Meaning
Even a stone Buddha turns away from the quarrel between co-wives.
The proverb imagines that even a stone Buddha—an enduring symbol of patience, compassion, and calm—cannot bear to witness such an intense dispute.
The exaggerated image emphasizes the overwhelming power of jealousy and rivalry.
💡 Figurative Meaning
This proverb teaches that jealousy, rivalry, and conflicts over competing interests can become so intense that even the most patient observer wishes to avoid them.
Originally referring to conflicts between co-wives in traditional society, the proverb now applies to any situation where competition, envy, or personal interests escalate into destructive conflict.
Its deeper lesson is that unchecked jealousy rarely produces lasting happiness.
Healthy competition inspires growth.
Jealousy destroys relationships.
🌍 English Equivalent
Closest Match
Jealousy can turn even the gentlest heart away.
Other Similar Expressions
- Intense rivalry breeds deep conflict.
- Envy destroys peace.
- Even saints grow weary of endless conflict.
- Jealousy poisons relationships.
📝 Example Sentences
1.
The two business partners became so consumed by personal rivalry that the entire company suffered.
Even a stone Buddha would have turned away.
2.
Sibling jealousy created years of unnecessary family conflict.
Envy damaged relationships that should have brought support.
3.
Great leaders encourage healthy competition without allowing rivalry to become personal.
Mutual respect produces stronger teams.
🏯 Why Koreans Say This
In traditional Korean society, some households included co-wives (시앗), creating complicated family relationships and emotional competition.
The proverb reflects the observation that jealousy arising from shared interests or competition could become especially intense.
The image of a stone Buddha, normally associated with compassion and serenity, turning away highlights just how exhausting such conflicts could be.
Today, Koreans rarely use the proverb literally.
Instead, it serves as a broader lesson about human psychology, reminding us that jealousy and unchecked rivalry can damage families, friendships, workplaces, and organizations.
❤️ Life Lesson
- Don't let jealousy control your actions.
- Healthy competition should never become personal.
- Respect is stronger than rivalry.
- Peace begins when we celebrate others' success as well as our own.
📚 Learn Korean
시앗 (Siat) = Co-wife (historical term referring to another wife sharing the same husband)
싸움 (Ssaum) = Fight / Quarrel
돌부처 (Dolbucheo) = Stone Buddha
돌아앉다 (Doraanjda) = To turn away / Turn one's back
⭐ Fun Fact
Because 시앗 reflects a historical family structure that is uncommon today, modern Koreans almost always interpret this proverb figuratively rather than literally.
It is commonly used when describing office politics, business competition, inheritance disputes, sports rivalries, and interpersonal conflicts, wherever emotions become so heated that even outsiders feel uncomfortable.
The proverb's enduring message is that jealousy is one of the most destructive forces in human relationships.
🌎 Real Life Applications
Workplace
Competition can improve performance, but when coworkers become consumed by envy or personal rivalry, teamwork and productivity suffer.
Leadership
Wise leaders recognize signs of unhealthy competition early and foster a culture of fairness, collaboration, and mutual respect.
Family
Comparing siblings or relatives can unintentionally create resentment. Encouraging each person's unique strengths builds stronger relationships.
Personal Growth
Instead of measuring your success against others, focus on becoming a better version of yourself. Gratitude and self-improvement are stronger motivators than envy.
Author's Opinion
'시앗'이란 옛날 말로 '첩'을 뜻하는 순 우리말이다. 엣날 남자들이 본처외에 첩을 거느리던 문화에서 유래가 된 속담으로 남편이 첩이 생기면 부처님 같은 마음씨를 가졌던 본처도 시기하고 질투하게 된다는 속담이다. 오죽하면 절간에 모셔 놓은 돌로 만든 부처님도 대책이 없어서 돌아 앉을거라는 비유를 통해 본처가 시앗(첩)에 대한 감정이 좋을 리가 없었던 엣날 한국문화에서 유래가 된 속담이다.
'Siat' is an old Korean word meaning 'concubine.' This proverb originated from the culture of men in the past keeping concubines in addition to their first wives. It implies that if a husband takes a concubine, even the first wife, who possessed a heart as kind as Buddha's, will become envious and jealous. It is a proverb derived from old Korean culture, where the first wife could not possibly have positive feelings toward a 'Siat' (concubine), illustrated through the metaphor that even a stone Buddha enshrined in a temple would be helpless and turn away.
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🏆 BB Master's Insight
"Competition can sharpen our abilities, but jealousy dulls our character. The strongest people are not those who defeat everyone around them—they are those who refuse to let envy steal their peace. Lasting success grows from self-improvement, while lasting relationships grow from generosity of spirit."
✨ Closing Quote
Rivalry may win a moment, but respect wins a lifetime.
Choose growth over jealousy, cooperation over resentment, and remember that true greatness is measured not by surpassing others, but by becoming the best version of yourself while helping others do the same.
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